“What will we do the moment we get in the door, boys?”
“Mama has put her stuff away, how about you?”
“Things which are left by the door are a tripping hazard in an emergency.”
“Would you please put your lunch box and drink bottle in the kitchen and your backpack away?”
As a parent, I realised that, instead of creating systems which enabled my children to develop their ability to self manage and focus, I had become the system and engine behind ensuring the daily responsibilities and tasks got done. The moment I stopped reminding, nagging and pulling every trick out of my book, things were left undone. Instead of teaching my children to take responsibility for simple tasks in life, all I was demonstrating was that someone else would take on the responsibility of overseeing everything they did. If they were really lucky, they’d be off the hook entirely when their tasks were done by an adult.
One particularly frustrating afternoon, Nathan raised that even though they did the same thing every day, they had no idea what came next and found it very challenging to follow a sequence of tasks. He went on to share that he and his twin brother didn’t use the task checklist we had created them some time ago as it was out of date and wasn’t very user friendly.
Clearly we needed to try something different, as our methods to date hadn’t been effective and our relationship was being negatively impacted as a result. So I put my thinking hat on. It was then that Lao Tzu’s wise words came into my mind:
“If you tell me, I will forget. If you show me, I may remember, but if you involve me, I will learn.”
I knew that whatever we did, my boys would have to be involved in the process.
So over the summer break, the kids and I took a couple of days to create some resources to help them keep track of their own responsibilities. What a massive difference these have made in our home!
“Mama,” said Nathan, “When you first suggested creating these new reminder systems together, I didn’t see the value in them and how they would help me. Now that we’ve made them though, I can see how helpful they will be in reminding me what to do next. I had a lot of fun too. Thank you for helping us make these!”
Backed up with reminder watches as an additional layer to keep them on task, we feel poised for a much more harmonious home where we all contribute to making our household run smoothly, so we can live life to the full. What are some ways you could create better S.Y.S.T.E.M.S. in your life to Save Your Self Time, Energy or Mental Stress?
